Amharic for "family" (phonetic spelling). We have been talking a lot about that lately at our house. Without giving too much away that is particular to our son, Tony, we have had to revisit what it means to be a part of a family recently. As we have been preparing for the arrival of Baby 'S', he has been dealing with his own heart. Because of his own adoption story, he has faced some pretty big questions lately; like where is his place after this baby comes? Will he still have a place?
As heartbreaking as it is to think that he still struggles with these things, I try to remain calm and imagine what the Father would say. How many times have I acted like I wasn't sure that I was a "family girl", forever etched on God's heart, a part of His Kingdom, His family! How many times have I looked around and wondered if I was good enough. It takes us all a while to really "act" like and then "know that we know" we are one of His! We have been using that term "family boy" (I didn't come up with this, lest you think that I am clever, but read a good book) with Tony a lot. I think he understands it now. When he seeks out the "family-like" closeness from someone other than Chris and I, we pull him aside and say "you're not really being a family boy right now, do you want to try again?" He understands that whatever he was doing, now needs to be directed towards us or needs to originate from us and not from someone outside of us; like sitting in someone else's lap, or wanting to play with other random Dad's at parks.
Now, Tony has adjusted so well to life with us, but the changes that this baby will bring, I think, are making him question his place. We will continue to work. And it has inspired me to examine my heart. When do I not exhibit "family girl" behavior with the King of Kings? I can't say enough how much I have learned about God's love and His plan of redemption through Jesus by being both a foster and adoptive parent. Some things are just little personal treasures, and some things I feel I must share. We have all had different views in life and the view from Adoptive mother is one that I can share.
I really try not to be preachy, but several times I have had people say to me (well meaning) that if you don't bond with a child in the first year, you never will. Poppy-cock!! It is harder and you have to keep working and being a good listener to their little hearts (even after 3 years), but it works! And God is such a big God! He is the God of second chances. He is the Redeemer of time. He turns Beauty for Ashes. Can we only truly become His child if we are saved as children? Will we never truly be "bonded" to Him if it doesn't happen in the infancy of our lives here? I doubt that anyone would answer "no" to that. Adoption is a mirror to our adoption into the Kingdom. Our parenting should be a reflection of His. Our families a copy of the Kingdom. One song that I have been singing all week. I love this song, so will add it here. I am sure many of you know it, but if not, please listen to it.
"Child of God"
Father you're all I need, my soul's sufficiency......
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Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
"Placed"
One of the families from our adoption agency posted on her blog a few days ago about their experinces while at Hannah's Hope, Ethiopia.(Thanks Katie!) She was describing her arrival at the orphanage and being led into the office area. While waiting for the director of the orphanage to come in (and bear in mind she hasn't met her child, yet) she is glancing around and notices a shelf. On that shelf are folders with childrens names on them. All of the children in the orphanage that already have families chosen for them had a file with heir first name and their soon-to-be last name. She tells how that really moved her. And reading it, myself, I was moved. Knowing that we will be waiting another 2 plus months to meet my child and another month or two after that to bring her home is sure hard. But knowing that she has already been named "ours" is astonishing. In an orphanage on the other side of the world is a folder with our last name on it. That folder means that the little girl working hard to grow in the next room is ours forever, whether she realizes it or not. She has been "placed" in a family. That is exciting!
But, there are so many more children all over this world that don't have a folder with their new last name sitting on a shelf. They go to bed dreaming of having a family, a home, a mother and a father. I can't help but think of those without. Our daughter's destiny has been sealed. The King of Kings has "placed" her in a family. How many more can He do this for?
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Sunday, July 25, 2010
1st trip Court Dates!
Underground church in Lalibela
Lalibela is a town in northern Ethiopia. Lalibela is one of Ethiopia's holiest cities, second only to Aksum, and is a center of pilgrimage for much of the country. Unlike Aksum, the population of Lalibela is almost completely Ethiopian Orthodox Christian. Lalibela was intended to be a New Jerusalem in response to the capture of Jerusalem by Muslims, and many of its historic buildings take their name and layout from buildings in Jerusalem.
Emnat na Mihret
Amharic for “Faith and Mercy”
I thought it would be fun to post a few words/phrases in the language spoken in Addis Ababa, the capital city of Ethiopia, where Hannah's Hope Orphanage is. I chose "emnat na mihret" today because what could describe our needs and the needs of our daughter anymore than these two words. Faith and mercy for the journey still ahead of us all to become the family that God has ordained. Faith and mercy for all of the orphans still waiting for someone to claim them as their own. And it is by faith and with God's mercy that we have made it this far! All we have left are a few months and a few trips to the other side of the globe and back :) Emnat ne mihret, Father! Emnat na mihret!
We received our first trip court dates. As I posted earlier, we won't be traveling until after the courts re-open in October. But, we were so happy to get a call from Julie, our case worker, on Thursday. She said she was very surprised that they were already handing out dates for October. Our daughter's birth-mother has to appear in court first, on Oct. 6th. We then travel for our court appearance on Oct. 18th. If all goes well, the sometime shortly after that (a week?) she will be officially ours! We, of course, will already be back in Tennessee and waiting to hear about her US Embassy appointment. When we receive that then we will travel back to get her and bring her home, approximately 6-8 weeks after the first trip. Let's pray for 6 weeks, or what about 4-5 weeks? Since we're asking, let's think big!!
I am very relieved just to know WHEN we are going to meet her for the first time, to see her smile, to hold her, kiss on her and to snuggle with her. I pray that she has an easy time with all of the adjustments; spending time with us and then seeing us leave her for those weeks, before returning to bring her home. So, if you are praying, please pray that her birth-mother is able to make it to her appointment (sometimes they are not able) and that all of her paperwork is there. If one of those things doesn't happen, then we don't "pass" and they have to reschedule that part of the proceedings. It will not effect our first trip, however, we will still finish our portion of the proceedings and when everything is done, then the judge makes his ruling to declare her legally adopted. Then, pray for a quick embassy appointment, so that we can get back there as soon as possible to bring her home. We will be praying to bring her home the end of November, but possibly as late as mid-December.
Emnat na mihret to you all! Whateveryour journey is; enjoy just "doing it" with Jesus!
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Courts closing.....and heart-sick
Well, as fast as we moved to get our paperwork and as hard as our agency works, it looks like Ethiopian courts are closing soon for the summer. The Ethiopian staff at our agency got word yesterday that there will be no more appointments given until they open again sometime in October. I physically felt sick when I heard this. We, along with a few other families, just missed this cut-off by 10 or so days. That means there are families that got their referrals just 10 or so days before us and have appointments the last week they are open.
I was just enjoying my referral "high" so much I hadn't really thought much about this. It kind of hit me hard. I was mentally prepared for this possibility, but really hoping for a miracle. What does this mean? Even though we received our referral July 6th, we won't be making our first trip any sooner than October. And second trip November or December. That means a probable 5 month wait to bring our baby home. This feels especially "wrong" because she is so tiny and has so much growth to make up. I want to get her here and into MY arms. I want to monitor her progress and not have to wait for emails. That's very hard. I know she is being very well taken care of, but there is no care like "mommy-care".
It's hard not to feel a little bummed. After almost 10 months of waiting for a referral, when we expected 8 at the most, and then just missing the one trip plan by 2 months, which adds another month at least, and now just barely missing court closures, I can't help but feel a little short-changed! We seem to be (pardon the cheesy quote) "a day late and a dollar short". Not at all the outcome I was hoping for. And everyday that I don't get to hold my baby girl, I am very aware of her absence in my arms. It makes it all that much harder for me knowing that she has already been at the orphanage for three months! She didn't just arrive and then get a referral. So, she will spend the first eight months there. It just seems wrong, somehow. We know all of these things are part of the process, but it just still feels so wasteful. She's there....we are here.
There are things that I know to be true, though. There will be an "END" to this journey. I am just ready to get there! God loves our daughter more than we do and He won't let her down. For all of the milestones that we will miss over these next months, He will give back to us in joy, I know. He will comfort her for us. And us, too.
Good news! this weekend there is a group traveling and I have four mothers who volunteered to check in on Baby 'S' for us. They are going to take pictures of her, love on her and most importantly, pray over her. I really feel grateful to them. Wish I could be there, instead, but am so happy to know that they are going to be with her. It seems unnatural to have other people meeting your child before you do, but that is part of the craziness of this whole thing. I am so thankful for our agency's adoption group, what a blessing they have been. And they don't hesitate at all to do something like this for each other. I pray I have the opportunity to do the same for someone else.
I recently made a "baby book" for Tony. It just kind of describes what kind of baby he must have been. I really prayed about it before making it, and felt that God just kept inspiring me. Since we didn't get him until he was 5 1/2 and the youngest picture we have of him is when he was roughly 3 years old, I had to be creative. But, he loves it. It gives him a story! Everyone needs a story. It makes him feel important. At the beginning and at the end of the book I wrote, "and even when we weren't there with you, Jesus was." That is our daughter's story right now; if I were to write it down. We are not at the "END", but while we aren't there with her "Jesus is".
I was just enjoying my referral "high" so much I hadn't really thought much about this. It kind of hit me hard. I was mentally prepared for this possibility, but really hoping for a miracle. What does this mean? Even though we received our referral July 6th, we won't be making our first trip any sooner than October. And second trip November or December. That means a probable 5 month wait to bring our baby home. This feels especially "wrong" because she is so tiny and has so much growth to make up. I want to get her here and into MY arms. I want to monitor her progress and not have to wait for emails. That's very hard. I know she is being very well taken care of, but there is no care like "mommy-care".
It's hard not to feel a little bummed. After almost 10 months of waiting for a referral, when we expected 8 at the most, and then just missing the one trip plan by 2 months, which adds another month at least, and now just barely missing court closures, I can't help but feel a little short-changed! We seem to be (pardon the cheesy quote) "a day late and a dollar short". Not at all the outcome I was hoping for. And everyday that I don't get to hold my baby girl, I am very aware of her absence in my arms. It makes it all that much harder for me knowing that she has already been at the orphanage for three months! She didn't just arrive and then get a referral. So, she will spend the first eight months there. It just seems wrong, somehow. We know all of these things are part of the process, but it just still feels so wasteful. She's there....we are here.
There are things that I know to be true, though. There will be an "END" to this journey. I am just ready to get there! God loves our daughter more than we do and He won't let her down. For all of the milestones that we will miss over these next months, He will give back to us in joy, I know. He will comfort her for us. And us, too.
Good news! this weekend there is a group traveling and I have four mothers who volunteered to check in on Baby 'S' for us. They are going to take pictures of her, love on her and most importantly, pray over her. I really feel grateful to them. Wish I could be there, instead, but am so happy to know that they are going to be with her. It seems unnatural to have other people meeting your child before you do, but that is part of the craziness of this whole thing. I am so thankful for our agency's adoption group, what a blessing they have been. And they don't hesitate at all to do something like this for each other. I pray I have the opportunity to do the same for someone else.
I recently made a "baby book" for Tony. It just kind of describes what kind of baby he must have been. I really prayed about it before making it, and felt that God just kept inspiring me. Since we didn't get him until he was 5 1/2 and the youngest picture we have of him is when he was roughly 3 years old, I had to be creative. But, he loves it. It gives him a story! Everyone needs a story. It makes him feel important. At the beginning and at the end of the book I wrote, "and even when we weren't there with you, Jesus was." That is our daughter's story right now; if I were to write it down. We are not at the "END", but while we aren't there with her "Jesus is".
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Grow...grow...grow
I just wanted to share with everyone some good news that some fellow adoptive parents are rejoicing over this week. Their son was at the same orphanage as our little one for the last 3 or so months and had some of the same malnourishment issues that our little one does. They were not only in the same orphanage, but also shared a room! Way cool! I get so much encouragement out of the progress that he has made. It is miraculous! I am so excited for this little boy, who started out with difficulty, but whom God has surely touched. He is amazing! So, please go to their blog and read the post entitled "I stand amazed AGAIN!"
www.babeofmyheart.com
We are praying for the same testimony for our little one. We know that God's hand is over that orphanage and that even now He is looking out for and loving my daughter through all of the wonderful people that work there. So, grow baby grow!
www.babeofmyheart.com
We are praying for the same testimony for our little one. We know that God's hand is over that orphanage and that even now He is looking out for and loving my daughter through all of the wonderful people that work there. So, grow baby grow!
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